I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
