I hate your face
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
