So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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