My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I won't apologize to a one balled man
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
