I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
