she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
