I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
please don't ironically join a cult
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