why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I want to be your penis for a week.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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