I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
