Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
