STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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