Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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