kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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