im six kinds of drunk right now
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
