He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
