So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
