I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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