they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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