Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
