I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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