Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
