Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm too high and old for this...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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