Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
How's work?
Spinning.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
