Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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