I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You made out with two different species that night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
