Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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