i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
