It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
