That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
