yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
