You're so nebulous sometimes
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
