did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
