kristin has been a bad kristin
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
