Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
