i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
