The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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