i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
