that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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