I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
