Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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