Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
what day is it and did you see me today?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
