So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
