I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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