I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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