the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
