That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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