I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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