so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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