ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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