What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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