Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
