I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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