thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
